• Run the restaurant for the enjoyment and pleasure of our customers, not the convenience of the staff or the owners.
• Enjoy the taste that fat adds to corned beef and pastrami. If you want something lean, how about our turkey.
• Hate soggy fries. If yours aren’t crisp, the way you like them—send them back—maybe the kitchen will get the message.
• Brew fresh iced tea tableside. Let it steep a little for the perfect iced tea.
• Fly our hot fudge in from NY. It’s a point of pride and made by Dr. Keller, a certifi ed chocoholic who refuses therapy. It is simply the best in the country, and we don’t boast idly. Just ask him!!
• Keep your table clean and organized throughout the meal. If you would like to dip your dessert in ketchup, let us know, we’ll leave the plates on the table.
• Agree that the customer is almost always right. If there is a problem with your food or service, call for the manager—we’ll fix it in a flash. But, if you fi nish your plate—it couldn’t have been all that bad! Now, could it?

• This is a bad place for a diet^sm and a good place for a diet, any kind of diet! You’ll love our pastries. They are made in Max’s Bakery and Kitchen.
• Warning: We bake our own breads crusty as can be. If you like soft bread, eat the middle.
• Our desserts are excessive because nothing succeeds like excess. We encourage sharing. If you’re not super hungry or on a diet, eat a half-slice.
• We use cholesterol-free AND trans-fat free oil for frying.
• When we say low-carb, we mean it!! Especially the desserts.
• Careful with the Reubens—they’re known to drip.
• For 25 years we’ve been serving big portions— just the way you like ’em. You’ll never walk away hungry!

If we break the following laws, we’ll buy you a round of drinks. (We’ll m atch what’s on the table. If you’re
drinking water, don’t expect a Maxarita.)

• If anyone of our staff asks, “Is everything all right?” When we ask questions, they’ll be good ones.
• If you are a single diner and are greeted with the expression, “Just one?”
• If you spot a food critic.

We take our laws seriously. If we break the following, we’ll buy a piece of Ultimate Chocolate Cake for the table.

• Our service staff will promptly check back within 4 minutes after your main course is served to
  ensure that you have everything that you need, and love what you’re eating.
• You must get your mustard and ketchup before your burger, sandwich or fries.
• If we use the expressions, “Hey guys” or, “Are you guys ready to order.” Don’t you hate that?
• If we ask, “would you like change with your bill” after the bill is presented.